Eat Pasta, Swim Fasta: Unconfirmed studies show BBLS pasta to increase race performance

The Pasta Dinner is a yearly tradition in BBLS. Swimmers of all ages flock towards the pool with the promise of pasta and full bellies. However, have you ever stopped to consider what is actually in these carb-filled tubes of energy?

A study by Ravioli University in Rhode Island has revealed that consuming pasta boiled within BBLS can increase race performance by up to, but not exceeding, 285%.

The cause of this phenomenon is unknown, but researchers theorize it has something to do with the altitude of the neighborhood.

“The majority of the neighborhood lies above the 350-meter mark, (above sea level)” one researcher comments, “But the pool itself lies at a measly 316 meters, much lower than the rest of the ‘hood. Surely, this is no coincidence.”

This article will be updated as more information becomes available.